Hello everyone :)

Today has been such a lazy and unproductive day.
I have been like sleeping the whole day.
I revised a little yesterday and today I was supposed to find a topic for my lit review.
Hopefully, I will get a topic soon.
Omg, my teeth is really annoying me because one of braces is lose and my teeth is not aligned any longer :(
I really need to get it fixed soon but sadly, I have to wait till next week when dental is open.


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Ugh, I am so tired of crying. I don't know what to do. My heart says it is better to stay and just keep getting hurt because I'd rather feel hurt than feel empty but however actually, the best for me would be to forget everything and learn to be alone and be on my own again. Whenever I try to move on, you come back and all my efforts of moving on literally fails. Omg, why does my life really suck man? I wish like I never knew you and I would be so happy right now but now, all I think of is you. I need to be happy again, not depending on you for happiness because whenever I do, I would be the opposite of happy and I get disappointed all over again.

I want to be happy and not have any negative thoughts :(

Yo blog, so it's the second month of a whole new year. Many things happened. Firstly, end of year exams are nearing so I got to study real hard but i'm really dreading the thought of studying all day. Oh well, I have no choice, just have to manage and tolerate this for the next 10 days. 5 days of studying and 5 days of exams. After exams, I will have to attend an interview for scholarship and then I have to prepare for Maven Camp. I don't think i will have many days of holidays because my internship will be beginning on 14th March and it will end on 31st July.

So, I am looking forward to internship because I really hate being stuck in school or should I say class, studying all day and I prefer to be like doing hands on work so in the internship I am sure I would get a lot of opportunity to work on the various specimens given like maybe mouse tissues, organs or human tumors. I don't really like mouse and hopefully I don't see dead mice lying around as I will really be disgusted. The only thing that I don't like is that I got to wake up earlier than usual compared to the time I wake up for school. Well, that's about it for my school life.

For my family life, I would say it is good too as we all went to watch dead pool yesterday. It was pretty funny however there were like too many explicit scenes. I really enjoy spending time with my cousins. On Saturday, I went shopping with my cousin and sister in law. It was really fun and I got myself a new pair of shoes so I am happy in that case :D

Last, but not least, Happy Birthday Sharmila! ^^

Current mood:
Lazy and feeling a little blue because... :(

Things to do:
RJ (done)
Complete piano theory homework
Try to learn a new song on the piano

I am tired of being in love and my heart hurts so badly. I always hope things would get better but nah, nothing good ever happens to me. I am sick of thinking everything would turn out good but eventually, I will cause a problem. It is just all my fault. I just want to go somewhere and sit alone where no one will look for me. I thought love was a wonderful feeling but for me it never was. Me and love were never fated to be together because for me, nothing lasts. Actually, nothing in life lasts. I am hating myself for thinking of you all the time, just my plain stupidity. All the while, you are just happy with your own stuff. I will always be the loser. I guess there's no use holding on anymore... All good things come to an end.

Some days, I feel so happy to be home, under a roof, in my own shell, all by myself. But, after many days of being home, it is so boring and I feel so trapped. I can't wait to get out. Tomorrow would be the best opportunity due to the learning journey. Hmmm, what should I do today after I wake up? Anyways I gonna make it a habit to wake up before 12. And it has been successful for the past two days, yay. I feel like I wanna go to the park to get some fresh air and stroll. I don't know. I feel really sick of being home. I don't even feel like sleeping right now. I downloaded a movie but I have no mood to watch it either.

I feel upset that I can't even go for something I really like. Oh well, maybe it is not destined for me to go for it. But I will always wish for the best. If its meant to happen, it will. Oh well, it's holidays and I should be happy right but it is like the total opposite right now. What else... I also have to learn not be so attached, it really hurts man. Everything will be alright soon, I hope.

Yooo, today went for singing class!!! So tiring and my pitch is always out!!! At the end of the lesson, I feel like I was gonna die out of breath. This is the most nerve wrecking singing lesson ever. Anyways, yesterday my piano teacher was nagging at me because I never practice much, haha. From tomorrow on wards gotta practice piano and singing if not I really dead. I damn lazy but nevermind I wrote it down on my 'To-do list' so I got to do it!

Currently, I thinking how to change the blogskin... I nothing much to do, cause there is nothing interesting on tv. Suntv some old movie :( Haisss, I asked my mum if I could go to work with my friend and she said no, and asked me to better stay at home! I thinking of watching a movie online but I really not sure which to watch. None interest me.

Oh my god, I just realise not only I need to go school on Friday for the service learning workshop, but I have to go to school on Monday for Wings Camp! My bestfriend is in the same group as me for the camp. xD After that, only need to go school on 19th and 25th March. Hopefully no other days. Oh yeah, also my hubby birthday is coming soon, gotta remember to wish!!!

I hope I sleep soon!!!
Goodnight.

Insomnia returns. Ugh I thought I would be able to sleep after only sleeping for like two hours, but nah, its impossible. I woke up again, not being able to fall sleep. Hais, why mind why? Just let me sleep, in peace. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm lost in my own thoughts without having a sense of direction. I need clear thoughts and a clear mind. But the good thing is, exams are over. yay. But, I don't feel any excitement for the holidays cause my body clock is weird and I keep waking up at night without having proper rest. I pray that my body clock returns to normal! Nights ♡